Do Your Resume Homework!

So, I’ve had a few resumes lately coming across my desk that show me people aren’t being careful about who they grab to write those important documents for their job search. I will tell you, the resumes I’m talking about were all found on Craigslist, as I was LOL  In my book, the two big baddies on why to pick one writer over another is price and speed. Do you want a resume fast, or exceptional? Do you want it cheap, or high-quality? Because I can guarantee you, if you answered “fast” and “cheap”, you’ll have to just be satisfied with what you get. And it won’t be much from what I can see. That $35.00 will now cost an additional $95.00 because I have to do it all over again for you. I actually had someone ask if I could cut my price so he could get it done. WHAT??? Uhhhh….no. Had you done your homework first, we wouldn’t be having this conversation…right? Not my fault you didn’t do some better checking. Did you research the writer for competency and background? No? Did you read testimonials? No? Did you do a scam search to make sure they were legitimate? Again, no? Did you believe them when they said they can ‘guarantee’ you a job from their resume? Uh-huh….you did. No legitimate writer will “guarantee” you’ll get the job. Only YOU can do that by doing a great interview. Try this checklist before throwing your hard earned cash at someone who talks a good talk. Do it right. Be the professional you seem to be…not the ninny you ended up becoming. Here goes:

1. Make sure there’s a name or business name attached to the ad you see. If they can’t identify who they are, do you really want to deal with them? If there’s no name or DBA, run, don’t walk, to the next ad.
2. If there’s a name or DBA, Google it. Run the name thru any of the search engines you might use…Bing, Yahoo…any of them will show the legitimate business you’re researching, along with informational tidbits like reviews, “about” them, etc. A name or DBA will also allow you to check them out on any of the free scam research sites to see if they’re legitimate and how they run their business, what part of the country they actually work from, and if they have a trust rating. If they haven’t listed themselves on any of the search engines as any business would, take a hike to the next ad.
3. Look twice at any resume writing company that practically works for free with set promises in the delivery of your papers. While I love a good deal myself, a resume that will cost you only $20, $30 or even lower, is being offered by someone who can’t get the business any other way. They’re paper mills probably working in the Caribbean or some other off-shore concern that use templates. And think about this….you have maybe 5 or 15, even 20 plus years of employment history, and someone will promise a resume showing all of this within 24 hours or 3 days? I make note of when a specific resume is needed and work toward that deadline. I never promise a short turn-around time. Accuracy and detail have no concept of minutes, hours and days spent.
4. Be skeptical of any business that doesn’t provide a phone number. A business who doesn’t, will more than likely not be local to your area. In reality, most of these “businesses” are off-shore scammers who only want your information and money. How quick can you run?
5. Working online is very commonplace now. It’s easy, it’s fast, but it’s not for this kind of business. Anyone who writes your documents that you don’t have the option of meeting face-to-face is a business you shouldn’t deal with. Would you buy a car without seeing it or test driving it? How about buying a house sight unseen? Anyone who deals only through email, who will only utilize PayPal, who has no local phone number is someone who wants their hand in your pocket.
6. Steer clear of resume writers who will have you fill out a questionnaire. This is the cue that your resume won’t be customized to your needs. Your information will get the “copy and paste” routine onto a template. Cookie cutter resumes are the bane of HR departments. The only one gaining anything are the “writers” who have left you without interviews and a wallet that weighs less than it did before.
These are only a few of the things you need to watch for, but in my opinion, the most important ones. Start getting smart. Nothing good comes from not working for it. A bit of research will go a long way to the first day of your new job. Need a resume? Look me up…I’m all over the place…and I’m GOOD! ;D

Save Me…NOT

I’m very offended when some of these idiot, holier-than-thou bible thumpers come to my door and say they’re going to save me.  What makes them think I need saving?? So now, (and I’m now considered a “senior citizen”…uckkkk), I stick up for myself.  Here’s what I tell them…

“I don’t like you assuming I need to be saved.  I don’t like you assuming I don’t know my God, pray, or follow the commandments.  I don’t like you assuming that I’ve had a troubled life, have done ill-will to others, have cheated on my spouse or the IRS or anyone else, or have lied to anyone other than to make someone feel better about a bad situation.  What I’M ASSUMING is that you don’t know that I’ve never even had a traffic ticket in all the years I’ve driven, or have a clue as to who I am or what I’m all about, because you know squat about me.  The only one who needs to worry about saving me is God….and so far I think He’s done a great job.  I’m proud of myself.  Nothing in life is perfect, even me.  But I’m close.  Go save yourselves.  Some of us don’t need you 🙂 ”

So there :)….and I’m going to be sure and meet them at the door holding a martini…2 olives thank you!